A 5 Element Approach
Often when people experience a loss, we leave that person alone, saying to ourselves, “I don’t know what to say.” In reality, times of loss are when people really need support.
Grief is the emotion of the Metal element whose officials are the Lung and Large Intestines. Fall is the season of Grief. Key ways to reach out to someone who is grieving are to: reassure her about herself, her position, and her value; acknowledge her strengths and accomplishments—remembering this history will shed light on the present and future direction; help her to be thankful—the glass is also half full; help her to be able to self-assure, self-acknowledge and be thankful from the inside out.
The mother element of Metal is Earth, Our Mother. The mother element supports and aids the child element, just like a mother and her child. Earth feeds Metal by sharing Earth attributes — being nurturing and nourishing, balancing and centering, circular and round, and sympathetic and comforting. A grieving individual needs nurturing; centering; a circular, non-judgmental attitude, and comforting.
The energy of Grief has a downward motion. It is breathy and raspy. Speak to a grief-stricken person in low tones. Let your voice trail off. Speak slowly. Allow plenty of space physically and in your speaking. Encourage him to wear the color of Metal, white. It reminds one of the appearance of silver in the bright sunshine. It gives a strong connection with the aligning force of Spirit.
You know that a person is processing their grief when they begin to see meaning in the incident, when they extract wisdom from it, when they can find the good in it. This process of harvesting the last preciousness from an experience will move the individual into the next element, Water. Water will allow them to regenerate, recuperate, integrate lessons learned and give birth to Wisdom.